Conflicts in my thoughts

I don't remember myself craving for 'nice' things when I was a child, but I do remember my whims to travel someplace, to try something new, to see something which I haven't seen ever... to see people from different countries, their lifestyle, their food...
I do remember myself being extra protecting for small small things which I owned, like my stationery, my toys, clothes.. I still have my comb which is more than 15 years old. 
When I moved to a developed city, I started having this desire to own all the expensive clothes, I wasted my father's hard earned money in buying useless clothes; this lasted for 3 years.... until I actually realized what all this was about.
By owning certain number of or certain quality of  items, I tried to feel the sense of ownership of something without actually realizing that all this had been bought from someone else's money, not mine. Even though I had bought from my own money, why did I depend on tangible things?
It's good that now I understand the reasons behind such wasted habit. 

 What am I waiting for? In this situation, it's actually very easy to just wish for people's sympathy but I have to face the reality someday; facing it now.. that I'm alone. Only I'm responsible for myself and if I'm not liking the way things are, I need to do something about that instead of sitting back and waiting for a miracle to happen.

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